in to continue our merriment.
Yet another cheesy, blood gushy film that I adore that got panned by the critics. Apparently the original has a cult following (I haven’t seen it, but after reading about it, I plan to). I think this kind of idolatry makes it hard for people to look at a remake without reservation (I should know, like I’ve said before there’s NO WAY I’m watching the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. NOBODY is Freddy but Robert Englund. It’s just that simple to me). I have to wonder if the newer Black Christmas didn’t suffer from some of this.
We’re treated to the story of Billy Lenz via 1970s flash backs. It’s a nasty holiday tale of an abusive wack-job mom who killed Billy’s dad and kept him locked in the attic. Billy grows into a big boy who mom molests (sadly no one there to get SVU on the phone). Mom ends up pregnant with Billy’s daughter. A little while down the road Billy finally flips his shit on Christmas. He yanks out the eye of daughter-sister Agnes, kills mom’s boyfriend, and finally kills mom (making Christmas cookies out of the skin from her back). The cops make it over and Billy lands in the criminally insane house. Agnes, who managed to survive, is sent off to an orphanage.
Fast forward to present day. Billy’s old house is now a sorority house filled with typical sorority types. Unbeknown to them there’s someone in the house with them that’s slowly offing the sisters. Also unbeknown to the sisters Billy has made a jail break! (I loved the sleazy Santa getting offed at the asylum. There are only so many cheesy come-on lines I can hear before I start rooting for someone to get hacked up.)
The movie plays out in typical slasher fashion. Getting calls from “inside the house” (to keep up with technology, calls come from sister cell phones), sisters getting separated one by one (one in bed too drunk, one out to check the break box, etc), and the presence of the suspicious boyfriend. With a twist thrown in for good measure (Agnes! Shock!*).
The action doesn’t let up until the end (how fucked up is it that you can’t even get away from psychos at the hospital. Pushy bastards) and there’s plenty of blood/violence. After watching the boy kept humming Christmas tunes and I couldn’t help but make stabbing motions with my candy cane.
Merry Christmas!
*Please note the use of sarcasm.
